Parallel string theory, Ripple effect, and pacelines

As much as I like to ride with my group, "The Bee Team", I often like to ride alone. It allows me the chance to solve lifes mysteries, and configure out a plan of attack for how to survive one more day in this screwed up world I have built around myself. I can ride as slow as I want to and speed up as fast as I want to without messing up the teamwork of a well timed group ride.

Just this morning I rode alone to breakfast, close to 10 miles to the retaurant. On the way I listened to my favorite mp3's, some Pink Floyd, Allman Brothers, Trance style, Fleetwood Mac, and an occasional Metallica song. When the long version of "In A Gadda Da Vida" comes on, with that drum solo, I can really get into a good rhythm.

I resisted riding with the mp3 player for the longest time, I was hit by a car at a fairly young age, maybe 18? I'm not really sure of the age, those years are pretty much a blur. Some drinking friends came along and saw me lying there in that pool of blood, unconscious, bike all twisted up. Next time I saw them in a bar they were really surprised that I made it. I never heard the car. I can remember that night, right before getting hit so vividly. I was passed by one car, and I noticed the sound fading as it drove away in the distance, it was so quiet, getting cold, I could see my breath cloud up each time I exhaled. Oh yeah, it was also about 1:30 am in the morning, and I had no lights at all, and maybe not even any reflectors. I know I was completely sober too, because I was on my way home from the 7-11 balancing two six packs of tall buds in the cans on the top tube with one hand, steering with the other. To this day I do not know if i swerved out in front of that car, or if they just didn't see me till I was cracking the windshield with my body. Earlier I had been at a new girl friends house, we didn't drink or get high or anything. I can remember this because being straight was not my normal lifestyle during this period.
I didn't ride a bicycle for a very long time after that. If I ever ride two wheels again it would have a motor on it! When I did get back on a bicycle about 5 or 6 years ago, I was pretty scared of not hearing that car come up from behind again. Heck, I was scared to ride in the road for a year or so, only rode the mountain bike on trails in the woods at first and on the roads around the house . But the one mile loop around my neighborhood got old and I eventually strayed out on the open road again. Oh the freedom of being self propelled and going out exploring the roads. Now I'm even thinking that maybe someday I'll ride across the nation, you know dip the wheel in the Atlantic and ride till I can dip it in the Pacific.

Well, if you can't tell by now, I have a hard time staying on topic. Now to try and reel it back in, I stole part of todays title from a very dear friend that also likes to ponder lifes mysteries, thank you if you ever read this, I owe so much to you for being who you are. All these memories of my early years and how they have shaped the person I am today. I only hope someday I can jump across the invisible dimensions of time and space, and experience the life where things turned out different. The one where the dreams of how it could have been or should have been are not just dreams.